Losing Hermione
by Ambrosia2
Summary: “You don’t know what its like for people to look at you and cringe. To have the intelligence to know you’re ugly, but unable to do anything. I just want to be pretty!”-Hermione


Losing Hermione  
  
"You don't know what its like for people to look at you and cringe. To have the intelligence to know you're ugly, but unable to do anything. I just want to be pretty!"-Hermione.  
  
Rating-PG13  
  
Disclaimer: Attention all people who think I am J.K. Rowling! I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the books, merchandise, etc. Now please stop harassing me and asking what the 6th book is about!  
  
Authors Note: This story is dedicated to anyone who has ever felt they weren't good enough. This is for anyone who isn't perfect. Everyone, this is for you.  
  
Also, please review. I love nice reviews and constructive criticism, but if you truly do not like my story, you hate my guts, or you hate fat people, go ahead and leave a review and I'll leave your name on the next chapter : ) Please Review!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Hermione sat down gracefully at the Gryffindor table, pulling one of the plates toward her for breakfast. Ron and Harry made room for her, a smile on their faces. A tray of toast was directly in front of Hermione, its fresh aroma of butter and jam wafting toward her. She reached out and took a few pieces, savoring the sweet, crunchy taste on her tongue.  
  
She watched Lavender pass a tray of bacon, and this morning in particular it seemed unusually delicious. The tray stopped in front of her, like a sign from above to try some of this wonderful food. 4 pieces of bacon joined the large scoop of cheesy eggs already piled on my plate. This was truly a breakfast fit for a King, or a scholar.  
  
Hermione dug her fork into the scrambled eggs, lifting a large bite into her mouth, chewing daintily, dabbing prettily at her lips, making sure no jam remained on her mouth. Lavender looked at Hermione and cringed, her nose turned up like she had just smelled something foul. Hermione raised an eyebrow, swallowing her bite of food.  
  
"You alright Lavender?" she asked, really doubting anything but being a whiney little brat was troubling her this morning. Lavender turned to Parvati and whispered something in the brunette girls' ear. Parvati nodded her head, a smirk on her heavily glossed lips. The words "cow" and "fatty" assailed her ears, though they were soft enough to be thought her imagination. Hermione smiled indignantly, as though she hadn't heard a thing, though on the inside her heart was quickly turning to a lump of insecure play-dough. She stood from the table, now feeling kind of ill. Know one from Gryffindor had ever made fun of her. Know one had ever called her fat. What was this? Hermione wasn't fat! Quickly she marched out of the Great Hall, not bothering with explanations for Harry and Ron. She really didn't want to talk to them right now. She felt more like lying down on her bed and crying, or reading a good romance novel and eating a few chocolate frogs. Chocolate sounded particularly good.  
  
Hermione stopped at the portrait of the fat lady, still worrying over breakfast. And then she paused, her heart clenching with sorrow. How did the Gryffindor woman feel about being called the 'fat lady'? How would I feel if people casually referred to me as that? What if they did?  
  
"Chocolate Whoozles" I said quietly, noticing on my way in that it was harder these days getting through the hole. How odd. I marched up to my dormitory, shutting the door and locking it so that I wouldn't be bothered. I looked around me at the different girls portions of the room.  
  
Lavenders' section had wizard posters of different highly attractive celebrities looking around and winking at Hermione and each other. Her bed was covered with a pink, girly, lacey quilt, and a Muggle outfit consisting of a short skirt, halter top, and go-go boots were at the foot of her bed.  
  
Parvati' s was similar, though her wall was made up of one of the windows, sheer yellow curtains with enchanted, perfumed flowers dotted along. Beside her bed was a stack of magazines, including Witch-Weekly, Hot Wizards, and 16 (a beauty magazine for witches).  
  
Slowly her deep brown eyes landed on her section of the room, a slightly proud smile on her face. She wasn't petty like Lavender and Parvati. Her bed had the simple Gryffindor themed gold and red bread spread, with a red scarf Ron's mother had knitted her hanging neatly over the foot of it. A nice wooden bookshelf was beside her bed, filled to breaking point with her classic Muggle favorites (The collections of Edgar Allan Poe, J.R.R. Tolkien, Mark Twain) and then some of her favorite wizard books (Hogwarts: A History, Dangerous Spells you Can Avoid with Logic, How to Conjure Intelligence ). On her bedside table were a box of chocolates she had bought at Honeydukes a few days ago, though now it was almost gone, and a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. Her stomach seemed to dive off of a cliff into a lake as she realized that if she were to open that drawer, she would indeed find a huge stash of candy bars, jelly beans, chocolates, toffees, pastries, and sweets.  
  
Slowly, with painful steps, Hermione inched toward the mirror, forcing herself to look thoroughly at her reflection. It was true; she had gained a lot of weight. How had she not noticed? Her waist was no longer petite and flat, but rounded and curvy, her hips flaring out in a very womanly figure. A motherly figure. Her face now was less pronounced, her cheek bones not visible, a double chin now formed. Why hadn't she noticed? She sighed, a scowl on her face and yelled at the magical mirror.  
  
"Why didn't you ever tell me I was pushing maximum density?! I thought you were supposed to tell people when something was wrong with their appearance! Why didn't you tell me I was ugly?"  
  
"I think you're quite pretty dear. Nothing wrong that I can see. Lovely brown eyes, such silky, soft hair, straight white teeth. What are you so angry about? You never even got acne. Be grateful for that. Your complexion is perfect, I know a dozen girls who would kill for your face."  
  
Hermione suppressed a scream as she sulked away from the mirror. That dang contraption couldn't even be honest with her. She sulked over to her bed and threw herself down onto it, reaching out blindly with one hand for the box of chocolates on her bedside table. She opened the lid carelessly, tossing it to the end of the bed, pulling out a chocolate at random. "Mmm, chocolate cream."  
  
An owl landed on the window ledge outside Parvatis' widow, scratching with one taloned foot at the glass. It was a small owl, with black feathers and a pale yellow beak, foreign to this area. Hermione opened the latch of the window, smiling as the bird flew in and landed on her bed, dropping a dark blue envelope on her bed.  
  
For a few weeks Hermione had been writing back and forth with a boy from Scotland that was her age. The boy, Collin, had sent her a letter when he had heard about her invention of a new lighting spell in a local newspaper in his area. Ever since, the two sent each other letters daily, getting along extremely well.  
  
"Finally someone who doesn't care what I look like." she said with a relieved sigh. Hermione pulled a Bertie Botts Every Flavor Bean and held it out to the bird. She didn't have anything else to give it. Opening the letter excitedly, Hermione lay down on her bed again, on her stomach, her feet sticking up in the air in a very girly, teenager way.  
  
~*~Dearest Hermione, I was terribly disappointed yesterday when it took Helios so long to fly back to me with your letter. Please write back as quickly as possible so that I may hear from you. I feel as if we know each other so well already, don't you?  
  
I realized something today. I don't even know what you look like. I bet you're gorgeous. I'm just kind of normal looking, myself. I have sandy blonde hair, light grayish blue eyes, and I'm 6 feet tall. I'm very in shape though. I like to do swimming, Quidditch, and hiking.  
  
Also, do you prefer the Tantalus Potion or the Wirily Potion for confusion?  
  
Love, Collin~*~  
  
A cold sweat clung to her skin like morning dew to the grass. A shudder ran down her spine, an inaudible moan rising up from her throat. Oh no. Oh Hell no.This is bad. Why does he have to be like the rest of them? Why can't he just be the nice hot Irish boy who doesn't care about looks?  
  
Like lightning a thought occurred to her, a smile slowly creeping up her face. She grabbed a chocolate from the box and chewed on it thoughtfully. He didn't know what she looked like. He would never see her. Why not.stretch the truth? She didn't have to be completely honest with him. It was just a teensy, tiny, white lie, right?  
  
She bit her lip, grabbing a roll of parchment from her drawer along with her new white feather quill. We don't know what each other look like. He could be lying too. Surly I'm not the only person who does this. They do it all the time on Muggle computers, right? Merlin, why not?!  
  
She sat up on her bed, legs crossed, elbows resting on her knees, leaning over the letter. She realized, once she started writing, how simple it was. Truly she could get away with this. There would be one boy in the world who didn't know she was fat. One boy who thought she was beautiful, intelligent, kind. She deserved one person that thought she was pretty.  
  
~*~Darling Collin, I've written back to you as fast as I could. I hope you're not too disappointed. I feel like we know each other deeply as well. I really enjoy your letters.  
  
About how I look. Let me see. I'm rather normal looking actually.  
  
(That's true, Hermione thought begrudgingly.)  
  
I have golden brown hair, deep brown eyes with dark eyelashes, and lightly tanned skin.  
  
(Okay, that was a fib. She had mousy dark brown hair and pale skin. He'd never find out though, right? Right?!)  
  
I'm of average height, standing a comfortable 5'5 ½ ft. tall. I've got an athletic body as well, from years of swimming, dance (ballet and tap being my favorite) , ice skating, and gymnastics.  
  
(Okay, so she didn't have an athletic body. So she didn't partake in sports. So she couldn't dance to save her life. She was human, and she just wanted to feel loved. It wasn't that bad.)  
  
I hope you can get a good picture of what I look like from my description. Now, onto more academic points. For confusion potions, I prefer the Tantalus potion because of its lasting effects, short brewing time, and simple ingredients. Which do you prefer? Also, how far has The Academy of Irish Witches and Wizards gotten in transfigurations? Love, Hermione~*~  
  
She signed the letter in her neat, meticulous handwriting, and then gave the letter to Collins owl, Helios. She lay back down on her bed, a dreamy smile on her face. It was Saturday, luckily, and she had plenty of time to daydream and get ahead in History of Magic.  
  
Hermiones' day went by quickly, happily, except for the snickers from people she had once been friends with about her weight, and before she knew it, it was dinner time.  
  
Hermione walked down to the table with Ron, Harry, and Ginny, sitting down at their usual spot. Ginny sat down first beside Collin Creevy, Harry hurrying over to the spot next to her, a blush creeping up to his cheeks when she looked at him. Hermione sat down on Harry's other side, Ron next to her.  
  
Hermione had noticed a change between Harry and Ginny lately. Ginny had been a late bloomer, but all of a sudden she seemed to have gotten extremely beautiful. Hermione envied the girls long, shiny blood red locks, her bright blue eyes, and her tiny waist. Hermione also envied the looks she got from Harry, the blush that rose to his cheeks whenever she looked at him, or when she was near, the attention he doted on her. It was plain to everyone, including Ginny, how infatuated Harry was with her, but her interest in him had cooled and she was happily dating Collin Creevy. It seemed neither Harry nor Hermione could be happy.  
  
As Ginny's interest in Harry faded, Hermiones seemed to intensify. Now she acted like a love stricken school girl around him, instead of the usual calm, sophisticated young adult she used to be. Why did he make her feel that way? Why did his messy black hair, brilliant bottle green eyes, and alert, confident features now seem so appealing to her? Why did he have to be so damn sexy?!  
  
Her daydreams were interrupted by their headmaster standing to make an announcement. The Hall quieted quickly, everyone wondering what the old wizard had to tell them. A smile was on his face, a gentle, knowing smile that always made Hermione feel safe. His blue eyes twinkled merrily, one hand raised to silence everyone.  
  
"I have a very important announcement to make to you today. I feel there are a lot of students who have shown great intelligence, honor, and aptitude at Hogwarts. I also feel that this intelligence I speak of can be expanded and sculpted into something miraculous, given the right chance."  
  
He paused for a moment, waiting for the few students who had started whispering excitedly to quiet down.  
  
"This is why I have arranged for our top 20 6th year students to go to the Academy of Irish Witches and Wizards for a month. We will be exchanging our brightest students with them in hopes to develop their experiences and minds. I am telling everyone now so that the students will be prepared, though it will take place in 2 ½ months. Congratulations to those students, the ones attending will be posted on the door. I hope I have not kept you from your meals for to long,"  
  
Everyone started eating again, talking excitedly about the new exchange, but Hermione blocked them out. She was in trouble, big, big trouble. She was going to the Academy of Irish Witches and Wizards! She was going to see Collin! No..Collin was going to see her! 


End file.
